Dating apps from an overthinkers perspective
Let us be honest. If you are young, lonely, and horny, you have downloaded a selection of Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Pure, or Grinder at least once. But, as a guy who struggles in social situations and overthinks practically every move he makes, it is a rollercoaster of emotions.
Tinder and Bumble are probably the top two, especially in my demographic (university students between 18–25). That should make life easier when matching someone, messaging them, and progressing.
However, in my experience, it is an overthinker's worst nightmare as you will worry about everything. For example, the profile pictures are good enough, and the bio is not too cheesy or creepy whilst still selling your best qualities. However, one of the first problems is when you match with someone and think of that perfect opening line that is not an awful chat-up line that screams desperate. But not too dull, like "hey xx" because everyone hates that.
All this effort is only in the hopes you get a response Being an overthinker, you struggle with what to say next. as you would constantly worry about every little detail and think any text you send is horrible. in my case, you would already be assuming the person you are texting is already thinking, "who the hell is this creep I matched".
Another battle you might have as an overthinker would be not matching with people you could have seen regularly and thought they could have been something. But it is even worse when you see them going for toxic people for several reasons. Matching with people who do not live close to you is a good thing, for example, if they go to other universities. This can be a blessing because distance can be a good thing, especially if you need your own space; I know I do.
The worst part about overthinking is when you meet up and go on that date. Because you have likely built up tons of anxiety and anticipation, assuming you have at least arrived on time and that your date has shown up. For the whole time, you are on this date, all you do becomes worried about every sentence, and you immediately start thinking, "Why did I say that? or, What the hell am I doing?".
Even if that first meeting has gone well and you feel like you did everything right, your next problem is if they will text back. Or will there be a next time? Because you are concerned that they could have been faking everything with you or that they will block you with no explanation. If you are anything like me in those situations, you need a reason for anything because your mind is always searching for answers.
This is not to say overthinkers or awkward people cannot use dating apps; they can be ideal for people with these struggles. They help someone learn what to do and what not to do when talking to someone they are interested in. But you should always try to be your best self, even if it is just a hookup. Because if they appear to like you as your genuine self, it takes a lot of the pressure off.